In-Laws or Out-Laws? Either way, it's a Law

So how do you cope?

I thought it was a good relationship.  Boy was I wrong.  It's deteriorated over the years. But then again, it was never the lovey-dovey sort of gig anyway.  I don't get it.  I haven't done anything.  But you see, I'm not the one they wanted their son to marry.  Things have been said to me in an innocent sort of way, and things "not" done for me and my husband's kids.  How do I get past the pain and rejection I feel?  Even worse, I have a feeling the kids feel the rejection as well.  That is the most devastating thing.  How can a grandparent play favorites?  I cannot imagine doing such a thing.  I'm sure it's common but I don't really give a shit.

I grew up feeling loved.  And being the youngest of eight, love was hard to come by.  My parents didn't have time for all of us but I still felt loved. And my children are the youngest three of ten grandchildren and my mother has always treated the grandchildren equally.  I like that.  That's how I grew up. 

From what I have gathered, and from what my counselor has figured, the resentment towards me has nothing to do with me.  My M-I-L is stuck in the past.  30 years past.  Nice.  I've been in the picture for 23 years now.  Isn't that long enough to prove we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together?

I stood up for myself once and I am ready to do it again.  Bring. It. On. Mother-in-law.